Thanksgiving - old & new Jokes
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Welcome to the Thanksgiving Jokes page. We have put together some of the best kids jokes for Thanksgiving 2016 and have put them below for you. Enjoy the page, and if you like it, share with your friends. You can also send a Thanksgiving Jokes card.

Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving," 
little Timothy wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."

The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Head coach agreed. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus." "Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?" 


What key has legs and can't open doors?
A Turkey.


Gobbler said, "Doctor, help me! I can't stop acting like a turkey!"
"I see," said the doctor. "How long have you had this problem?"
"Let me think a second. Mom laid the egg in 1984..."


What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? 
If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims!

Why did the turkey cross the road? 
It was the chicken's day off. 

If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
Their AGE

Why can't you take a turkey to church?
Because they use such FOWL language

What are the feathers on a turkey's wings called?
Turkey feathers

What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?
The turkey trot

Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Yes - a building can't jump at all

What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?
Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving

How can you make a turkey float?
You need 12 scoops of ice cream, some root beer, and a turkey

What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
Plymouth Rock

Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside

Why did they let the turkey join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks

Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play

What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
The turKEY

What did the turkey say before it was roasted?
Boy! I'm stuffed!

Where did the first corn come from?
The stalk brought it

Why did the Indian chief wear so many feathers?
To keep his wigwam

What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian?
He had an arrow escape

How did the Mayflower show that it liked America?
It hugged the shore

Thanks, for a country where nobody is allowed to mind his own business. Thanks, for a nation of finks.
-- William S. Burroughs, "A Thanksgiving Prayer"


Michael Dresser in his Baltimore Sun Paper's wine column, Vintage Point, writing about the difficulty of recommending wine for Thanksgiving dinner writes:-
Thanksgiving is America's national chow-down feast - the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty! (In France, by contrast there are three such days: Heir, Aujourd'hui and Demain.)
 
Click here to send a free thanksgiving Jokes card !
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